Limitless Personality Traits:
“”The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does.”
James M. Barrie
Self Examination is a difficult process to complete. In essence, we must challenge everything about our lives. It is a process that requires total honesty with yourself and others. Self examination is the starting point. This part of the process begins with a list detailing four items, which include; what you need, what you want, your current goals, and what steps have you taken to reach your current goals. When listing what you need, think in terms of what you really need versus what you want. There is an important difference between the two. Some people want; a big house, two cars, trips around the world, clothes from designer shops and bigger televisions. The question is, do you really need these things?
If you truly need these things, at some point you have to ask yourself why.
I know a person who’s passion is art and rock climbing. He has the opportunity to work a full time job and have extra money to buy whatever he needs. His point of view on life is that he works enough hours to pay for rock climbing, buy art supplies and take climbing trips. His approach to life is to work 3 days a week. This gives him; a modest but comfortable apartment, money for climbing, art supplies and enough money for food and rent. He does not need a big house or fancy car. He works enough to get what he needs. His needs are what make him happy.
Consider that most people need food, shelter and security. In basic terms, we need enough food to keep us from starving and some type of shelter that keeps us warm and dry. Security is a difficult basic need to identify. What makes one person feel secure may not be what another requires. Every individual has to establish what level of food and shelter they require. Most people would like an adequate amount of food and the opportunity to enjoy some of the extra’s that life can provide. Remember that excess amounts of anything may be something you want but don’t need.
Personal security is the protection of yourself and/or your family/friends. It relates to protection from violence or dangers that can affect personal well being. Security comes from building supports that shield you from danger. This can be simply by cultivating good relationships with family and friends. Security is also linked to beliefs. Strong beliefs help many people feel secure. In so many cases, our security is based on a set of rules and beliefs. Religion gives us the security that if things get bad there is something or someone that is going to help us out. Being involved in religious groups help us to feel part of something bigger. We are connected with people who think or believe in similar concepts. This increases and provides ongoing security.
Again, this process is not recommending you discard your belief. It is simply advising you to challenge and understand why you believe in certain things. The limitless life style is promoting that you examine your life. Take what is good and expand on it. Set some goals that are going to improve your life.
The onset of COVID 19 has affected every aspect of our lives. We are currently living in a world that has changed in so many ways. What we took for granted now becomes a challenge. It has forced everyone to RETHINK most of our actions and activities. I have observed so many different reactions. Where it has been horrible for some it has been an opportunity for others.
The basis of the LIMITLESSLIFESTYLE is to examine what is happening in your life and determine YOUR COURSE OF ACTION. Even when you believe you have no control, you may be able to take actions to improve a situation.
It is certain that the sickness and death caused by COVID is horrible. There has been so much sadness associated with the number of people affected. The number of businesses that have crumbled and the people that depended on income during this time have suffered so much. Yet though it all, we have seen BEAMS OF LIGHT AND HOPE.
I am so proud of how the Canadian and USA medical community has done so much to help people. These individuals have dedicated their time to help others. They have gone without sleep and contact with their families so they can do their part to try and improve the situation. I also find that the police, military and fire departments have stepped up to help people in need. While we don’t always agree with the actions taken by some of the police and military, I saw examples where they put their lives at risk by helping others. None of these people have an easy job.
One of the most outstanding things I observed were individuals creating something good during this challenging time. This ranged from the people who made us laugh on You Tube or thought personal emails sent to friends and family, to those who educated themselves or other family members, or created some type of invention. These individuals showed us how they made this time matter.
COVID quarantine’s created a rare opportunity for the “family unit” to connect. We have been forced to stay within immediate family or friends. Being limitless is about making the most of a good or bad situation. Anyone who has become closer to their family, learned a new skill or helped others, should be very proud. All these restrictions don’t mean that you cannot still develop or work toward your goals. We just have to be creative.
Remember – The steps of the LIMITLESS LIFESTYLE program and additional information can be found on Amazon, Kindle E-books under Limitlesslifesyle.
JUST THE 1ST STEP;
SELF EXAMINATION is a challenging process to complete. In essence the process requires that each person question everything about their lives. The focus should be on the things that are causing the most unhappiness.
The entire process requires being totally honest with yourself. You have to ask yourself what actually makes you happy. Making a list helps but is not a requirement. There has been a series of choices that have brought you to this point in your life. Challenging your principles, morals, ethics, ideas and relationships, requires that you ask yourself hard questions. The intent is to find answers and initiate change.
Aspects of this process can be restricted by what your family or friends think. Attempt to explain to your friends and family what you are trying to do. Remember, this stage is strictly your thoughts without any input from others. As stated before, those close to you will not only understand but help keep you on track should you lose your way.
DETERMINING GOALS will be based on what makes you happy. Again, a list is a handy tool but not a requirement. There is no limit to the number of goals you create. Remember to think big and in the long term of your life. Your goals can be determined simply by listing the things that make you unhappy and want to change. Taking the reverse approach will identify aspects of your life you want to change. If completed, these aspects will give you a starting point toward finding happiness. The other approach is to think about things that make you smile to yourself or give you a feeling of satisfaction. Once the goal is established, you can complete sub-goals that will move you toward your overall goal.
SETTING OUT A PLAN. Let us look at the goal of climbing Mount Everest which will represent a major long term goal. A person who establishes this goal must review or question everything they are doing. Nothing may change, if they complain about being out of shape but spend the day watching television. Every action you take causes a reaction. This is basic physics.
As an example; Climbing Mount Everest requires a number of actions. You may need to get in shape, save the money (as it costs between $40,000.00 to $50,000.00) and get the time off work or away from the family. There can be other aspects to making this goal come true. However, the above are three examples of what may need to happen to achieve the main goal. Therefore, the mini-goals might be;
If the same person establishes a plan to start walking, running or cycling, there will be a change in their physical condition. In this example, the process does not expect or recommend climbing a mountain right away. In most cases, people will have to work toward or ease into their goal. Whatever steps are taken will result in some degree of change.
It is important to get out in the world with family and friends to experience life.
Play, laugh, joke, dream, dance etc. Stop being so serious and have some fun.
We do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.
Whatever your age, there should be nothing stopping you from discovering yourself and the world around you. Life should be an experience.
The limitless lifestyle is designed to examine your life, make changes and work toward establishing your personal happiness. This is done by setting goals and working toward the achievement of each of those goals. Whether these are small or big goals does not matter.
Consider a person who complains about their relationship with their wife, husband or partner. They are constantly telling others that they fight all the time, do not go anywhere together and they just do not feel the same way as when they met. Complaining to others does not solve or change the situation. There has to be some type of action between two people in a relationship. Unless you do something different, nothing will change. This is also the point where your core beliefs come into play. In this example, consider that the person complaining about their relationship has been raised with the belief that women are weak and cannot be expected to participate in a man’s world.
There is no thought process in this statement. It is likely a core value that has been passed on by family or experience. This creates an excuse for their complaint and will justify why nothing can change. Without challenging this established value, there is no hope for change.
When we were children, adults often asked us what we wanted to be or do when we grew up. We may have responded with; fireman, doctor, dancer or race care driver. Looking at your life now, you work five to six days a week, clean your house, take care of kids or pets, go shopping and watch television. In the back of your mind or late at night, you dream of the passion you had as a child.
Remember that life is about being free to dream and feel the way you desire. The challenge is for each person to begin the relentless pursuit of their dreams and passions. The process requires that everyone take a careful look at their core values. While there may be nothing wrong with your current core values and beliefs, the process requires that you challenge them. The intent is to ensure they are not just accepted without question.
As an adult, you have the ability and right to change or modify any belief you were given as a child. Some you may keep while others you will modify or discard. To demonstrate the impact of challenging a belief or value, use the example that women are weak and cannot participate in a man’s world. If after challenging this belief a person still confirms that this is the truth, then nothing will change in their life or relationship(s). However, if consideration is given to the reality of women can participate and excel in many areas of day to day life, and then the core belief will be modified. The result is a new opportunity for friendships and relationships. The person’s life will change with the realization that their core belief was not accurate.
The limitless process of challenging everything in your life, makes you think. You have been hard wired to make some choices without thinking about them. This is not your fault. Since an early age, you observed certain behavior that you copied. As the normal example of how to act, you accepted it without question. At this stage in your life, you can use logic to evaluate your automatic actions/reactions. Once examined, you can choose to keep or discard them. If you are aware of an automatic response that is not improving your life and may in fact be causing problems, you can change it.
Take a simple case of reacting to someone making a comment that is designed to make you feel bad about yourself. You have a choice to accept what is being said or reject it because in your heart you know it is not true. In this case, people will make negative comments about you or your life. That is a reality. If you accept those comments without question, your self esteem may wither away.
You have to consider that people make comment about others for a variety of reasons. It may be to make themselves feel better about their own life. The comment may be made simply because they are in a bad mood at that moment. The point is that you have the choice of accepting or rejecting what other say. It is important to learn about yourself. Something to remember is that you need enjoy your own company. Liking yourself and enjoying your own company gives you freedom and strength.
Strength comes from knowing yourself and your core beliefs. When you know yourself, comments from others can be received with a reasonable perspective.
Consider that you have been working for a year to get in shape when someone comments that you look fat. Based on the mental work you have completed, the effect of such a comment is minimal. You like yourself and the way you look. They may have any number of reasons for their comment. You have the choice to consider or discard it. The effect of that comment is therefore minimal rather than devastating.
Everyone is looking for a method to improve their life and find the key to a happy existence.
I have discovered that men and women over 50 have notions about people between the ages of 20 and 30. I have heard, comments such as what do they know, they have no experience, why should I listen to them, they don’t know anything, their life is so easy, they don’t have problems. Now having said that, some 20 – 30 year olds, want nothing to do with people over 50. They tell me that they act old, they have too many opinions and don’t listen to anything they don’t want to hear.
There are far too many people who are discriminating against people they THINK are too old or too young. Anyone who thinks this way is missing great opportunities to enjoy activities, conversation and
friendships/relationships with someone who is in a different age group.
I am writing this to recommend that readers stop the preconceived notions. You do not know what any person can offer unless you take the time to get to know them. I have found that regardless of age, so many people have great ideas and want to share all kinds of activities and experiences.
The other important fact that many young adults are looking for is a MENTOR. I was surprised to find out how many younger adults feel that they have nobody in their corner. Many of them are looking for someone to believe in them. WHO HAVE YOU MENTORED?
Everyone has a set of core beliefs or values that define you as a human being. Whether these are from your background, family, heritage, nationality or experience, they represent the key aspects of your personality.
At an early age parents communicate beliefs or values to their children. It is a parent’s job to teach their children about society and life in general. Society also defines and communicates some basic values that have been accepted by the majority of people. Whether right or wrong for you as an individual, these become part of your personality. They are reflected in the activities and actions of your day to day life. Core beliefs and values determine who you are and what you represent. As stated, it is communicated by the choices you make in dealing with others. The point to consider is, do we make choices based on automatic responses or careful thought. Some core values are so embedded in our personality that they become automatic. We no longer think things through. Instead, we just react to a situation or individual.
There is a philosophy that life is a series of choices that determine your future. Every time you make a decision, it is based on making a choice between at least two alternatives. Even the choice to do nothing has an effect on the direction of your life.
This is an explanation of human behavior developed by Dr. William Glasser, M.D.
The Ten Axioms of Choice Theory
The actions taken in the Limitless Lifestyle are designed to improve the quality of your life. The end result of this process is to help everyone reach a happy and healthy state of mind. If you learn not to set restrictions regarding what you want to accomplish, there is nothing to stop you from reaching your full potential.
SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS.
HOW WE ACT DAY TO DAY
When someone is asked if they are happy, the answer to family and friends can be somewhat negative or masked by a standard answer. Nobody wants to be known as a complainer. People who are always negative or who constantly gripe about their life get a reputation as an unhappy person. People feel sorry for them and in some cases try to avoid contact with that person. In order to avoid this, people start providing a standard response when asked, “how are you doing” or “how was your day.” Regardless of how we feel, the response of “great” or “fantastic” might be given. It is easier to provide a positive answer than identify what is wrong.
I believe that part of the purpose of asking another person if they are happy is designed to compare another person’s level of happiness to their own. Since we are not sure about the things that make us happy, we search for a comparison in others. We are not only looking for happiness for ourselves but for the people we care about. There are often aspects of our life we would like to change or improve. However, we may not know how to make the needed change.
A QUEST TO BE LIMITLESS
I have been on a quest to improve my life and find happiness. People would have looked at my life years ago and would likely say that there was nothing wrong with it. I had a good job, house, car, friends and family. The problem was that I had achieved every goal that I had set for myself. Suddenly I had no direction or goals. I had lost my passion for life, and was just not happy about anything. I was not only complaisant with my life but had developed all sorts of fears and restrictions on my activities. My priorities were looking after family and friends instead of myself. I could come up with so many reasons to say no to an activity or an opportunity to meet new people. I realized that in many cases, my choice had been to take the safe road. Whether this was to protect what I had achieved or driven by fear of failing, I did not know at the time. What I knew was that my current course of action was not making me happy.
I started comparing notes with friends to find out who else was searching for something more. I needed to know if they had life plans and dreams. The question of whether or not we had found happiness was taken to a new level. The discovery was that we were all questioning what we had achieved and the state of our lives. Many of us had lost direction and were just living in “auto pilot’ on a daily basis. It appeared that many of our goals had been accepted based on what society or our family had promoted. Many of us were purchasing our ticket to happiness through the acquisition of things. After all, how could you not be happy with a big house, fancy car and toys or trips to enjoy? Then something interesting happened. There were some people that were still working away as some of their goals. When they spoke about achieving these goals, they beamed with pride. These same people pointed out that a person should aim big and always have goals they want to reach. When they asked me to come up with some new goals, I had no idea how to respond. Somehow, I had only planned goals up to a certain point. The goals I had set 20 years ago, were supposed to fill my lifetime. As time passed, I settled for what I had and made no further plans to change anything. Setting new goals was lost while I was pursuing my existing goals. I had also been sold and readily accepted goals promoted by others.
I did not know even where to begin or how to establish a new set of goals. My challenge was to figure out; what I wanted, what would make me happy and how to reach a new set of goals. Being a logical person, I needed a process. With the help of friends and a great deal of discussion, a process began to form.
I had to find a systematic approach to determining what I wanted and some method to help formulate my wants into goals. Having fallen into the trap of limited goals, a new approach was needed. I had to ask myself why there would be limits or restrictions on goals or even the number of goals people set for themselves. The approach that everyone should “go big or stay home” stuck in my head. I knew that this concept had to be applied to setting new goals. This is how the steps to becoming limitless were established. It is an ongoing process that has to be checked and maintained. Becoming “limitless” is not a quick fix. This is a process that changes as you undertake it and provides results on a daily, weekly and yearly basis.
The good news is that I did make changes to my life. I now have a limitless number of goals and a method of achieving those goals. I have interesting adventures and meet incredible people that share my passion for life. My cup is no longer half empty. Instead, it is half full. Each day presents opportunities to meet new people or participate in some type of activity.
The message to readers is to wake up and start living. Evaluate your life and make changes to aspects of your life you do not like. Take action instead of being a bystander. Searching, setting goals and working toward happiness every day works.
Being limitless and having the mindset to go after your goals and dreams.
There are countless times during any given day that we take an action that we think will make us happy. We are constantly bombarded with media promoting happiness through the purchase of some article or activity. Many forms of media, including television, magazines and movies portray people who have money, relationships and good looks as being happy. Society has created a personification of perfection for men and women to achieve. Finding or achieving a happy life has been defined for us.