There are some basic steps to becoming limitless:
1. Self examination and confirming what you have today.
2. Determining what you still want or what makes you happy.
3. Establishing what stops you from reaching goals.
4. Communicating with family and friends.
5. Sorting, setting and moving towards your goals.
6. Recognizing pit falls that slow you down.
7. Challenging rules
8. Reality check. (This one is ongoing.)
Excuses hold us back from reaching our goals. At any given time, most people can convince
themselves not to do something based on excuses. You don’t have to be reckless or careless about
the things you do. However, you should take calculated risks to change your life. Try something new or
out of your comfort zone. Calculate the risk and take the necessary precautions to do it safely.
At any given time, you might THINK you are too tired, too old, not good enough or just not able to do
something. My experience has been that everyone learns and accomplishes things at a different pace.
Be patient with yourself and take whatever activity you are trying to complete at your own pace. It took
me a long time to get the ability to cycle for more than 2 hours or go up hills. In time, it came and I now
have the ability to cycle for a day. It has taken me 4 years of hard work to rock climb more difficult
climbs. When I started climbing, my body complained A LOT. It has taken many talks to myself and
with my friends to keep me going. You don’t have to take a “hard core” approach to getting active. You
will be surprised that you will progress and be able to do more each time you try. Frustration will be
part of it. Work past it and I promise you that it will make a difference.
Self examination (Confirming what you have today)
This is a difficult process to complete. In essence, we must challenge everything about our lives. It is a
process that requires total honesty with yourself and others. Self examination is the starting point. This
part of the process begins with a list detailing four items, which include; what you need, what you want,
your current goals, and what steps have you taken to reach your current goals.
When listing what you need, think in terms of what you really need versus what you want. There is an
important difference between the two. Some people want; a big house, two cars, trips around the
world, clothes from designer shops and bigger televisions. The question is, do you really need these
things? If you truly need these things, at some point you have to ask yourself why.
Consider that most people need food, shelter and security. In basic terms, we need enough food to
keep us from starving and some type of shelter that keeps us warm and dry. Security is a difficult basic
need to identify. What makes one person feel secure may not be what another requires. Every
individual has to establish what level of food and shelter they require. Most people would like an
adequate amount of food and the opportunity to enjoy some of the extra’s that life can provide.
Remember that excess amounts of anything may be something you want but don’t need.
Personal security is the protection of yourself and/or your family/friends. It relates to protection from
violence or dangers that can affect personal well being. Security comes from building supports that
shield you from danger. This can be simply by cultivating good relationships with family and friends.
Security is also linked to beliefs. Strong beliefs have also helped many people feel secure.
The limitless life style is promoting that you examine your life. Take what is good and expand on it. Set
some goals that are going to improve your life. Your first task is to clearly identify and expand on the
four areas mentioned. This process is designed to take stock of your life. As stated, it should
establish your needs versus wants. This is necessary to know what aspects of your life you want to
improve. The process will also help you confirm and be grateful for the good things in your life. The
results of the self examination will form the basis for your current and future goals.
Every aspect of our lives can be improved through good communication. To achieve the limitless life
style, communication is essential to identify your goals and to let people know what you are doing. The
key is to learn how to communicate properly.
When changing your life, people have to understand why you are taking action. Failing to communicate
during this process leaves friends and family confused. Without an explanation they can be threatened
by the change(s) they see. There is a need to explain that this process is about you, not a reflection of
your dissatisfaction with them.
Communication is based on speaking and listening. The aspect of listening is a key to your success.
Think about having a 10 minute rule. When someone is talking to you, give them the courtesy of
listening for 5 to 10 minutes. At that point, think and respond to them. This shows that you respect
their opinion or thought. You can then truly hear what they have to say and respond with your thoughts
or questions to clarify what they have stated. This is a learning process for you, your family and friends.
Discussion between two people should be frank. Do not judge or assume you know what is being
communicated. If you can do this, you can gain an understanding of what the other person thinks. The
limitless life style requires that we challenge everything. Opening yourself up to another person’s
views may help you see something that you did not realize when you set your goals or an aspect of your
personality that you may have ignored. This process can also remove the anger aspect to a
discussion. We may not always like what a person is saying but part of this challenge is to listen and
learn. Try not to react with anger. A limitless person is open to new ideas. These ideas are then
incorporated into our goals and this process.
Communicating what you are trying to achieve helps to clarify things. It also confirms that your goals
are real. When you tell a friend or family member that your goal is to see the Great Wall of China, they
are going to respond and likely support your dream. The goal then becomes a reality. Family and
friends may start checking to see how it is going and what you have done to reach your goal. Someone
close to you may want to join in. Their reminders can offer support for your goals and can give you the
boost you need to ensure you keep forging ahead.
Determining what makes you happy:
At this point you have determined what is good in your life and what you still want to achieve. It may still
represent your goals in very basic terms but you now have a frame of reference. We can easily lose
track of what makes us happy and grateful. Taking stock helps us to remember. Gratitude for the
things that are good in your life is very important.
Using the list of needs (or wants) your goals are laid out in front of you. It is now time to determine the
priority of your goals.
Remember the basic aspect of this process is designed to find what makes you happy. You are not
considering what makes your spouse, partner, children or friends happy. This exercise is for you and
is an attempt to get back on track.
Many people have commented about losing themselves in the day to day care of their children. You
have spent so much time making sure that they are happy, your needs, goals and actions have taken a
back seat. Letting go, setting priorities and reaching some or all of your goals will make you happy.
There is no limit on the number of goals that you establish. Whether it is only a few goals or many
goals, you should establish the order of priority.
A simple goal might be learning to learn to swim. Book one or more swim classes, find a partner or
friend to share the experience and get it done. Yes, it is as simple as that. The smile on your face is
your reward for taking the action. This will confirm that you are on the right track.
A more complicated goal might be to hike the Bruce Trail. This is a goal that may require steps. You
might have to buy the right shoes and a walking stick. You may want to find a friend, spouse, or partner
who wants to do this with you. Developing a plan to start in one area and work your way through the
trails may take a summer or a couple of years. When your goal is more complicated, it requires some
degree of planning. As long as you are making progress you are on the road to happiness.
It is not even important to call your actions goals. Do not get them confused with new years resolutions.
You can call them simply, things you want to do. Make your goals realistic and achievable.
Remember that you do not have to reach your ultimate goal all at once. The ultimate goal can be
created and attained in stages. This way it is manageable and attainable.
Why wait until the end of your life and establish a bucket list. If you have goals but do nothing to achieve
them, you are not going to find happiness. Even small steps toward your goals will give you that happy
feeling. You will have something to look forward to and will be satisfied that you are taking steps toward
|Establishing what stops you from reaching goals.
What stops you from reaching your goals, in general terms, is the “fear factor” . Thus is the major
barrier that stops a person from reaching their goals. Fear of failure, ridicule or injury will stop you in
your tracks. Fear is caused by the lack of control of the outcome of a given situation. It is not normally
the fear of trying to change your situation, but more the fear of being yourself or failing. Taking the risk
regarding "something you want to do" or "something you want to say" is difficult. When you can
conquer a fear, the reward is amazing.
Many people have some level of fear that stops them from doing something. A fear of flying is common
to a lot of people. If a person’s goal is to travel, they must overcome this fear. It is important to
understand why you fear something. In this case, you may worry or fear that the plane is going to
crash. However, if you learn more about planes and the training the pilots complete, you can reduce
your fear. Once you understand your fear you can take a short flight to get used to being on a plane.
Another option is to take a flying lesson to gain a better understanding. Information and then
challenging or facing your fear is the best approach.
It is easier to justify or talk yourself out of taking an action. You can come up with a variety of reasons or
excuses why you cannot do something; but how do you know unless you try?
There is a fear of what your family and friends will think when they see what you are trying to do.
Remember this process is about you and not other people. You can be amazed by the reaction of
friends and family when they see you taking action. Do not allow yourself to feel guilt for doing
something for yourself. If you feel guilty, you have to deal with it through communication. I truly believe
that everyone should do something for themselves at least once a day.
Fear can be generated by thinking about failing or having an injury. Try to take a “calculated risk”. You
cannot expect yourself to leave your house, sign up and complete bungee jumping without some
preparation. If bungee jumping is a goal you must understand what is required and what risks may be
involved. Once you have evaluated the requirements and understand the activity, you can proceed.
There are safety measures in place for this activity and training is available. You may also want to
condition your body by starting an exercise program before you make that first jump.
Fear of failure is common. If I want to climb a mountain, it will be prudent to get instruction and prepare
my body for this type of activity. Most people cannot just jump into any activity. You can achieve any goal
you have set; however, it may take you longer to reach the goal than you expected. You have to be
patient with yourself and if necessary take baby steps toward a goal. In this case, it may take a year to
build up the strength to climb a mountain. Rest assured that your strength will increase. You will be
ready to climb that mountain whether it takes 6 months or 2 years. Challenge and eliminate the fear
that is holding you back.
|HOW DO YOU CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS;
Have you asked yourself lately, how you choose your friends? If you are following the limitless
principles, you will ask this question from time to time.
Friends (not family) are very important to this process. Each one of us needs someone to share
ideas and goals. As mentioned earlier, your friends help keep you on track and maintain a give and
take in your relationship. Yes, your friends will tell you when you are being a "jerk" or let you know
when you have done something great.
We do not always choose our friends wisely. It sounds terrible, but you have to watch for the people in
your life who do not support your efforts to change. I cannot answer the question for you. You have to
think about your friends and whether or not they are helping or hindering your development.
Just think about it.