MENTORING – TO BE OR NOT TO BE

I have discovered that men and women over 50 have notions about people between the ages of 20 and 30.  I have heard, comments such as what do they know, they have no experience, why should I listen to them, they don’t know anything, their life is so easy, they don’t have problems. Now having said that, some 20 – 30 year olds, want nothing to do with people over 50. They tell me that they act old, they have too many opinions and don’t listen to anything they don’t want to hear.

There are far too many people who are discriminating against people they THINK are too old or too young.   Anyone who thinks this way is missing great opportunities to enjoy activities, conversation and
friendships/relationships with someone who is in a different age group.

I am writing this to recommend that readers stop the preconceived notions. You do not know what any person can offer unless you take the time to get to know them. I have found that regardless of age, so many people have great ideas and want to share all kinds of activities and experiences.

The other important fact that many young adults are looking for is a MENTOR.   I was surprised to find out how many younger adults feel that they have nobody in their corner.  Many of them are looking for someone to believe in them. WHO HAVE YOU MENTORED?

LIMITLESS LIFESTYLE PHILOLSOPHY

Everyone has a set of core beliefs or values that define you as a human being.  Whether these are from your background, family, heritage, nationality or experience, they represent the key aspects of your personality. 

At an early age parents communicate beliefs or values to their children.  It is a parent’s job to teach their children about society and life in general.  Society also defines and communicates some basic values that have been accepted by the majority of people.  Whether right or wrong for you as an individual, these become part of your personality.  They are reflected in the activities and actions of your day to day life.  Core beliefs and values determine who you are and what you represent.    As stated, it is communicated by the choices you make in dealing with others.    The point to consider is, do we make choices based on automatic responses or careful thought.  Some core values are so embedded in our personality that they become automatic.   We no longer think things through.  Instead, we just react to a situation or individual.

There is a philosophy that life is a series of choices that determine your future.  Every time you make a decision, it is based on making a choice between at least two alternatives.  Even the choice to do nothing has an effect on the direction of your life.

This is an explanation of human behavior developed by Dr. William Glasser, M.D.

The Ten Axioms of Choice Theory

  1. The only person whose behavior we can control is our own.
  2. All we can give another person is information.
  3. All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
  4. The problem relationship is always part of our present life.
  5. What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
  6. We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World.
  7. All we do is behave.
  8. All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling and physiology.
  9. All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think.
  10. All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the part that is the most recognizable.

ALWAYS LOOKING TO IMPROVE

The actions taken in the Limitless Lifestyle are designed to improve the quality of your life. The end result of this process is to help everyone reach a happy and healthy state of mind.  If you learn not to set restrictions regarding what you want to accomplish, there is nothing to stop you from reaching your full potential.

SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS.  

HOW WE ACT DAY TO DAY

When someone is asked if they are happy, the answer to family and friends can be somewhat negative or masked by a standard answer.  Nobody wants to be known as a complainer.  People who are always negative or who constantly gripe about their life get a reputation as an unhappy person.  People feel sorry for them and in some cases try to avoid contact with that person.  In order to avoid this, people start providing a standard response when asked, “how are you doing” or “how was your day.”  Regardless of how we feel, the response of “great” or “fantastic” might be given.  It is easier to provide a positive answer than identify what is wrong.   

I believe that part of the purpose of asking another person if they are happy is designed to compare another person’s level of happiness to their own.  Since we are not sure about the things that make us happy, we search for a comparison in others.   We are not only looking for happiness for ourselves but for the people we care about.  There are often aspects of our life we would like to change or improve.  However, we may not know how to make the needed change. 

A QUEST TO BE LIMITLESS

I have been on a quest to improve my life and find happiness.  People would have looked at my life years ago and would likely say that there was nothing wrong with it.   I had a good job, house, car, friends and family.   The problem was that I had achieved every goal that I had set for myself.  Suddenly I had no direction or goals. I had lost my passion for life, and was just not happy about anything.  I was not only complaisant with my life but had developed all sorts of fears and restrictions on my activities.  My priorities were looking after family and friends instead of myself.  I could come up with so many reasons to say no to an activity or an opportunity to meet new people.  I realized that in many cases, my choice had been to take the safe road.  Whether this was to protect what I had achieved or driven by fear of failing, I did not know at the time.  What I knew was that my current course of action was not making me happy.  

 I started comparing notes with friends to find out who else was searching for something more.  I needed to know if they had life plans and dreams.  The question of whether or not we had found happiness was taken to a new level.   The discovery was that we were all questioning what we had achieved and the state of our lives.  Many of us had lost direction and were just living in “auto pilot’ on a daily basis.   It appeared that many of our goals had been accepted based on what society or our family had promoted.   Many of us were purchasing our ticket to happiness through the acquisition of things.  After all, how could you not be happy with a big house, fancy car and toys or trips to enjoy?   Then something interesting happened.  There were some people that were still working away as some of their goals.  When they spoke about achieving these goals, they beamed with pride.  These same people pointed out that a person should aim big and always have goals they want to reach.  When they asked me to come up with some new goals, I had no idea how to respond.  Somehow, I had only planned goals up to a certain point.   The goals I had set 20 years ago, were supposed to fill my lifetime.  As time passed, I settled for what I had and made no further plans to change anything.  Setting new goals was lost while I was pursuing my existing goals.  I had also been sold and readily accepted goals promoted by others. 

I did not know even where to begin or how to establish a new set of goals.  My challenge was to figure out; what I wanted, what would make me happy and how to reach a new set of goals.  Being a logical person, I needed a process.  With the help of friends and a great deal of discussion, a process began to form. 

I had to find a systematic approach to determining what I wanted and some method to help formulate my wants into goals.   Having fallen into the trap of limited goals, a new approach was needed.  I had to ask myself why there would be limits or restrictions on goals or even the number of goals people set for themselves.  The approach that everyone should “go big or stay home” stuck in my head.  I knew that this concept had to be applied to setting new goals.  This is how the steps to becoming limitless were established.  It is an ongoing process that has to be checked and maintained.  Becoming “limitless” is not a quick fix.  This is a process that changes as you undertake it and provides results on a daily, weekly and yearly basis. 

The good news is that I did make changes to my life.  I now have a limitless number of goals and a method of achieving those goals.  I have interesting adventures and meet incredible people that share my passion for life.  My cup is no longer half empty.  Instead, it is half full.  Each day presents opportunities to meet new people or participate in some type of activity. 

The message to readers is to wake up and start living.  Evaluate your life and make changes to aspects of your life you do not like.  Take action instead of being a bystander.   Searching, setting goals and working toward happiness every day works. 

Being limitless and having the mindset to go after your goals and dreams.

There are countless times during any given day that we take an action that we think will make us happy.  We are constantly bombarded with media promoting happiness through the purchase of some article or activity.    Many forms of media, including television, magazines and movies portray people who have money, relationships and good looks as being happy.  Society has created a personification of perfection for men and women to achieve.  Finding or achieving a happy life has been defined for us.