FATE VS CHOICES

FATE VS CHOICES:

I strongly believe that every choice you make affects your life.  There have been many heated discussions regarding fate vs choice.  While fate can play a part in your life and does exist, I insist that choice is a major factor on how your life turns out. 

One discussion related to a son stating that he could not help the way he was acting, because his father was the same way.  He firmly felt that the genetics passed from his father to him, dictated how he would act in relationships. 

In this type of case, a child observes their parents actions and models their behavior based on what they see.  Daily responses and actions become the norm.  Since we have no other comparison or example, the fathers personality traits can easily be passed on to a son or daughter. 

The argument that I present is the fact that you still have a choice.  At some point in your life you have the maturity to make an intelligent decision.   I could have become my father or make the choice to be different. 

The limitless process of challenging everything in your life, makes you think.   You have been hard wired to make some choices without thinking about them.  This is not your fault.  Since an early age, you observed certain behavior that you copied.  As the normal example of how to act, you accepted it without question.  At this stage in your life, you can use logic to evaluate your automatic actions/reactions.  Once examined, you can choose to keep or discard them.  If you are aware of an automatic response that is not improving your life and may in fact be causing problems, you can change it. 

Take a simple case of reacting to someone making a comment that is designed to make you feel bad about yourself.  You have a choice to accept what is being said or reject it because in your heart you know it is not true.  In this case, people will make negative comments about you or your life.  That is a reality.  If you accept those comments without question, your self esteem may wither away.

You have to consider that people make comment about others for a variety of reasons.  It may be to make themselves feel better about their own life.  The comment may be made simply because they are in a bad mood at that moment.  The point is that you have the choice of accepting or rejecting what other say.  It is important to learn about yourself.  Something to remember is that you need enjoy your own company.  Liking yourself and enjoying your own company gives you freedom and strength.

Strength comes from knowing yourself and your core beliefs.  When you know yourself, comments from others can be received with a reasonable perspective. 

Consider that you have been working for a year to get in shape when someone comments that you look fat.   Based on the mental work you have completed, the effect of such a comment is minimal.  You like yourself and the way you look.  They may have any number of reasons for their comment.  You have the choice to consider or discard it.  The effect of that comment is therefore minimal rather than devastating. 

Everyone is looking for a method to improve their life and find the key to a happy existence. 

The limitless lifestyle is designed to examine your life, make changes and work toward establishing your personal happiness.  This is done by setting goals and working toward the achievement of each of those goals.  Whether these are small or big goals does not matter.  

Consider a person who complains about their relationship with their wife, husband or partner.   They are constantly telling others that they fight all the time, do not go anywhere together and they just do not feel the same way as when they met.  Complaining to others does not solve or change the situation.  There has to be some type of action between two people in a relationship.  Unless you do something different, nothing will change.   This is also the point where your core beliefs come into play.  In this example, consider that the person complaining about their relationship has been raised with the belief that women are weak and cannot be expected to participate in a man’s world. 

There is no thought process in this statement.  It is likely a core value that has been passed on by family or experience.  This creates an excuse for their complaint and will justify why nothing can change.   Without challenging this established value, there is no hope for change. 

When we were children, adults often asked us what we wanted to be or do when we grew up.  We may have responded with; fireman, doctor, dancer or race care driver.  Looking at your life now, you work five to six days a week, clean your house, take care of kids or pets, go shopping and watch television.  In the back of your mind or late at night, you dream of the passion you had as a child. 

At 20, 30 or 40 years of age, what is stopping you from being a skydiver, dancer or race car driver?  Whether you take it up as a sport or exercise activity, it does not matter.  If you want to be a dancer, then take lessons.  Once you have done that, join a local theatre group or dance group.   If you want to race cars or be in a demolition derby, make it happen.  There are steps to take that will help you reach the goal.  Take a new approach, work toward what you want by taking one step at a time.  Make time for yourself and plan on reaching that goal you set as a child.  Following specific steps will help an individual reach their potential.  You do not have to reach your ultimate goal right away.  You can take steps toward that goal and feel so much better about everything.