MALE ISSUES WITH AGING – THE PRESSURE

Very good article that confirms the power you have if you stay positive.

Men Have a Harder Time With Aging Than People Thought.

Gordon Hurd – YAHOO ARTICLE

Frail, powerless, alone. Mention any of these words to an average guy — particularly a man in a certain age range — and you might see him shudder. It’s fair to assume that few people — male or female — look forward to getting older, but men in particular are finding it difficult to deal with. In fact, it’s the very ideals of masculinity that make aging difficult for many men.

Hiking in Arizona at my age.

“Manly” stereotypes can lead to lonely and difficult years for men as they age.  According to an article in the Wall Street Journal, these masculine ideals are creating distinct challenges for men as life expectancy increases and gender roles continue to evolve in society. Trying to hold on too dearly to “manly” stereotypes can lead to painful, lonely, and difficult years for men as they age. In response, many in the research, medical, and psychology fields are seeking new ways to help men grow old healthfully and change their ideas of what it means to be a man in their twilight years.

Research on men and aging looks at the concept of “masculine norms,” of which there are 11 typically cited. As the WSJ article highlights, these are some of the key aspects of masculinity that men tend to want to hold on to as they age — notably, physical strength, self-reliance, taking risks, and emotional control. And while the WSJ article explored these concepts among experts and subjects in their later years, these fears and anxieties about aging can pop up long before retirement is even on the horizon.

Ultimately, it comes down to a feeling of a loss of control,” Laura Hsu, an assistant professor at Merrimack College whose research explores the psychological process of aging and how it can affect physical and mental health. “The norms of masculinity have an undercurrent of being in control and having some element of power, including a feeling of power and control over their own decisions, physical fitness, and ability to generate an income. When one’s body or social position can no longer reinforce those feelings, increasing feelings of helplessness can ultimately take a toll on one’s mental and physical health.”

Yahoo explored this topic with a few middle-aged men to see how deeply these concerns resonated. “It’s the ongoing ‘breakdown’ of my body that I notice and dread,” explains Robert Haynes-Paterson, a 51-year-old writer based in New York City. “I’m healthy so far: no prescription meds, no heart trouble, etc. But I notice how much things have changed in the past couple of years — hair thinning, strength diminishing, muscles randomly pulling for no major reason.”    “The physical stuff — that’s what worries me a great deal,” chimes in Greg Simms Jr., a writer based in Ohio. “For years — from age 38 and back — I thought I was invincible. Now, at the age of 43, I realize, starkly, that I’m mortal.”   For Bart Irace, 45, a project manager who lives in Brooklyn, the importance of work in a man’s life is top of mind. “A change to active working life concerns me the most at the moment,” says Irace. “With the exception of senior executives, age is not typically seen as an asset, and aging workers are eased, or in some cases forced, out of their positions. I hope that I’m about 10 years away from advanced age making me a target for job loss, but in the meantime I’m trying to prepare for the possibility by thinking of occupations and/or skills that are more immune to this pattern.”

When queried on what they’re doing to combat their aging woes, most of the men we spoke to confessed that it takes a great deal of focus and thinking about consequences. Says Simms, “Since I can’t drink my misery away, I’m being more healthy all around. I’m eating clean meals, trying my best to stay away from fast food. I’m also working out at a gym, and walking outside when I can. My aim isn’t to look sexy for the summer … I’m working out so I don’t drop dead.”

So despite the very real physical effects of getting older, it appears that mental fortitude may be the ultimate defense for men (and women) against the frailties of getting older. Something that men, no matter where they fall on the spectrum of masculinity, should be able to get their heads around. Fear is, after all, merely a state of mind.

WANT TO CHANGE?

Put a spark back in your life and become the better you.

Your life is not what you want it to be? Start making changes today. The information provided in the website will establish tips and guidance on how you can achieve the limitless lifestyle mindset. If you want to play a sport, change jobs The limitlesslifestyle website is designed to teach, motivate and help individuals establish goals that will help them improve their life. It is a self help website.

Limitlesslifestyle.net or facebook, Limitlesslifestyle.net – CANADA

LIMITLESS FEAR FACTOR

What stops you from reaching your goals, in general terms, is the “fear factor” .  Thus is the major barrier that stops a person from reaching their goals.  Fear of failure, ridicule or injury will stop you in your tracks.  Fear is caused by the lack of control of the outcome of a given situation.  It is not normally the fear of trying to change your situation, but more the fear of being yourself or failing.   Taking the risk regarding “something you want to do” or “something you want to say” is difficult.   When you can conquer a fear, the reward is amazing.  

Many people have some level of fear that stops them from doing something.  A fear of flying is common to a lot of people.  If a person’s goal is to travel, they must overcome this fear.  It is important to understand why you fear something.  In this case, you may worry or fear that the plane is going to crash.  However, if you learn more about planes and the training the pilots complete, you can reduce your fear.  Once you understand your fear you can take a short flight to get used to being on a plane. Another option is to take a flying lesson to gain a better understanding.   Information and then challenging or facing your fear is the best approach.

It is easier to justify or talk yourself out of taking an action.  You can come up with a variety of reasons or excuses why you cannot do something; but how do you know unless you try?

There is a fear of what your family and friends will think when they see what you are trying to do. Remember this process is about you and not other people.  You can be amazed by the reaction of friends and family when they see you taking action.  Do not allow yourself to feel guilt for doing something for yourself.  If you feel guilty, you have to deal with it through communication.   I truly believe that everyone should do something for themselves at least once a day.  

Fear can be generated by thinking about failing or having an injury.  Try to take a “calculated risk”.  You cannot expect yourself to leave your house, sign up and complete bungee jumping without some preparation.  If bungee jumping is a goal you must understand what is required and what risks may be involved.  Once you have evaluated the requirements and understand the activity, you can proceed. There are safety measures in place for this activity and training is available.  You may also want to
condition your body by starting an exercise program before you make that first jump.

Fear of failure is common.  If I want to climb a mountain, it will be prudent to get instruction and prepare my body for this type of activity.  Most people cannot just jump into any activity.  You can achieve any goal you have set; however, it may take you longer to reach the goal than you expected.  You have to be patient with yourself and if necessary take baby steps toward a goal.   In this case, it may take a year to build up the strength to climb a mountain.  Rest assured that your strength will increase.  You will be
ready to climb that mountain whether it takes 6 months or 2 years.  Challenge and eliminate the fear that is holding you back.  

SPRING AND SUMMER ARE COMING

If you are like me, I am so tired of the snow. So, I thought it was a good time to remind people to make plans to have some spring, summer and fall fun. You deserve it. Anyone, still not wanting to travel can discover Ontario.

Here are some suggestions:

#1 – WHITE WATER WALK – NIAGARA FALLS, ONTARIO

Experience a first-hand lesson in the raw power and peril of the Niagara River’s Class 6 white-water rapids. The roar of the river provides a deceptive calmness, the perfect ambiance for your walk among the many viewing platforms that put you right at the river’s edge. For those looking for an up-close and personal view of nature’s power, you will not want to miss this. This self-guided tour includes many stories about the geology of the Niagara Gorge and the plant and animal life you may see on your visit to Niagara Parks. The Niagara White Water Walk is a wheelchair accessible 305 metre boardwalk situated on the edge of Niagara’s white water rapids. The Niagara Gorge is an 11km (6.8 miles) gorge created by the Niagara River. Around 18,000 years ago, Southern Ontario was covered by ice 2-3 km thick (1.2 – 1.9 miles).

#2 – Kakabeka Falls – THUNDER BAY, ONTARIO

The falls are an easy drive from Thunder Bay and worth a visit, the car park is close bay and their is a good board walk giving you good views of the falls.

There are viewing platforms on both sides of the falls giving great photo opportunities of the falls and the gorge, and if you pick a sunny day the rainbow effect from the spray is amazing if you can catch it.

#3 – Cheltenham Badlands – CALEDON, ONTARIO

The Cheltenham Badlands are located in Caledon, Ontario on the south east side of Olde Base Line Road, between Creditview and Chinguacousy Roads. The site occupies an area of approximately 0.4 square kilometers and features exposed and highly eroded Queenston Shale.[1] The Cheltenham Badlands are a significant educational site due to the readily visible geologic processes and the red color and the unique topography of the exposed shale makes this a popular tourist site.

#4 – Ouimet Canyon Provincial Park – THUNDER BAY

National Parks, Canyons; Spectacular and dizzying are the words to describe the steep-sided canyons of this rugged and scenic region. Address: Ouimet Canyon Road, Dorion, Ontario P0T 2M0.

Absolutely stunning view. Easy quick trail from the parking area. Please read the Ojibwe story of Nanabozho before you go. He ties into a lot of the history in the Thunder Bay area (sleeping giant, kakabeka falls).

#5 – Bonnechere Caves – Eganville ONTARIO

The Bonnechere Caves is a big name in cave exploration in Ontario. This family-owned and operated site is a sure wonder that draws people in with its stunning fossils and unique cave system. Hidden away in the Bruce Peninsula, this natural cave system is a place of peace and tranquillity with a rugged atmosphere. The Bonnechere Caves in Eganville ON. have been welcoming people from all over the world for over 55 years. We provide a safe, educational, informative and fun tour for people of all ages. Everyone from babies in backpacks to senior citizens have enjoyed the handiwork of Mother Nature here along the beautiful Bonnechere River..

Bonnechere : Facilities and Activities summary. Before you visit: check what facilities/activities are available and pack what you need (e.g. water, snacks, mask/face covering, and hand sanitizer).

MENTORING – PART 2

I posted thoughts on mentoring in June with the hope of encouraging people to help someone.   As we quickly approach the holiday season, I believe it is even more important.    It has been a hard year for everyone.   We are all facing challenges in our lives.   I suggest that each of us find someone who is family or a friend/acquaintance that might need a boost to know they are not alone.  

Mentoring is the support and encouragement of people to manage their knowledge and development in order that they may maximize their potential, develop their skills, improve their performance and become the person they want to be.

Many people are feeling depressed because they have been at home and/or have not accomplished their goals this year.   There have been many cases identified this year that confirm that there is a COVID depression that can be paired up with a situational depression.   Mentoring someone can help reduce this depression.   We have all been isolated from others with many of us are working from home.   Some have lost their jobs and are trying to determine what they should do at this point.   Helping them to uncover an opportunity such as learning a new skill or trying a new hobby can improve their overall situation.  

Part of being a good mentor is to listen to the person you are trying to help. Allowing a person to speak will help them formulate their thoughts.  Communication is based on speaking and listening.  The aspect of listening is a key to your success when you are mentoring someone.  Think about having a 10 minute rule.  When someone is talking to you, give them the courtesy of listening for 5 to 10 minutes.  At that point, think and respond to them.  This shows that you respect their opinion or thought.  You can then truly hear what they have to say and respond with your thoughts or questions to clarify what they have stated. 

It is hoped that this post challenges people.  It is my hope that you take the time to reach out and mentor someone.   Remember, knowing that someone cares is very important.   It can make the difference.

IS YOUR PERSONALITY LIMITLESS?

Limitless Personality Traits:

Motivated                                                       

Inspired

Positive                                                 

Fearless

Imaginative

Creative                               

Relentless                                 

Truthful                                                          

“”The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does.”

Lance Pritchard – Limitlesslifestyle.net

SELF EXAMINATION – WHAT DO I NEED VS WANT?

Self Examination is a difficult process to complete.  In essence, we must challenge everything about our lives.  It is a process that requires total honesty with yourself and others.  Self examination is the starting point.  This part of the process begins with a list detailing four items, which include; what you need, what you want, your current goals, and what steps have you taken to reach your current goals.  When listing what you need, think in terms of what you really need versus what you want.  There is an important difference between the two.  Some people want; a big house, two cars, trips around the world, clothes from designer shops and bigger televisions.  The question is, do you really need these things?  

If you truly need these things, at some point you have to ask yourself why. 

I know a person who’s passion is art and rock climbing.  He has the opportunity to work a full time job and have extra money to buy whatever he needs.  His point of view on life is that he works enough hours to pay for rock climbing, buy art supplies and take climbing trips.  His approach to life is to work 3 days a week.  This gives him; a modest but comfortable apartment, money for climbing, art supplies and enough money for food and rent.  He does not need a big house or fancy car.  He works enough to get what he needs.  His needs are what make him happy. 

Consider that most people need food, shelter and security.   In basic terms, we need enough food to keep us from starving and some type of shelter that keeps us warm and dry.  Security is a difficult basic need to identify.  What makes one person feel secure may not be what another requires.  Every individual has to establish what level of food and shelter they require.  Most people would like an adequate amount of food and the opportunity to enjoy some of the extra’s that life can provide.  Remember that excess amounts of anything may be something you want but don’t need. 

Personal security is the protection of yourself and/or your family/friends.  It relates to protection from violence or dangers that can affect personal well being.  Security comes from building supports that shield you from danger.  This can be simply by cultivating good relationships with family and friends.  Security is also linked to beliefs.  Strong beliefs help many people feel secure.   In so many cases, our security is based on a set of rules and beliefs.  Religion gives us the security that if things get bad there is something or someone that is going to help us out.  Being involved in religious groups help us to feel part of something bigger.  We are connected with people who think or believe in similar concepts.  This increases and provides ongoing security. 

Again, this process is not recommending you discard your belief.  It is simply advising you to challenge and understand why you believe in certain things.  The limitless life style is promoting that you examine your life.  Take what is good and expand on it.  Set some goals that are going to improve your life. 

COVID-19 – A WORLD WIDE RESET

The onset of COVID 19 has affected every aspect of our lives.   We are currently living in a world that has changed in so many ways.   What we took for granted now becomes a challenge.   It has forced everyone to RETHINK most of our actions and activities.  I have observed so many different reactions.  Where it has been horrible for some it has been an opportunity for others. 

The basis of the LIMITLESSLIFESTYLE is to examine what is happening in your life and determine YOUR COURSE OF ACTION.   Even when you believe you have no control, you may be able to take actions to improve a situation.

It is certain that the sickness and death caused by COVID is horrible.   There has been so much sadness associated with the number of people affected.  The number of businesses that have crumbled and the people that depended on income during this time have suffered so much.    Yet though it all, we have seen BEAMS OF LIGHT AND HOPE.

I am so proud of how the Canadian and USA medical community has done so much to help people.  These individuals have dedicated their time to help others.   They have gone without sleep and contact with their families so they can do their part to try and improve the situation.  I also find that the police, military and fire departments have stepped up to help people in need.   While we don’t always agree with the actions taken by some of the police and military, I saw examples where they put their lives at risk by helping others.  None of these people have an easy job.

One of the most outstanding things I observed were individuals creating something good during this challenging time.   This ranged from the people who made us laugh on You Tube or thought personal emails sent to friends and family, to those who educated themselves or other family members, or created some type of invention.  These individuals showed us how they made this time matter.

COVID quarantine’s created a rare opportunity for the “family unit” to connect.   We have been forced to stay within immediate family or friends.  Being limitless is about making the most of a good or bad situation.   Anyone who has become closer to their family, learned a new skill or helped others, should be very proud.     All these restrictions don’t mean that you cannot still develop or work toward your goals.    We just have to be creative.

Remember – The steps of the LIMITLESS LIFESTYLE program and additional information can be found on Amazon, Kindle E-books under Limitlesslifesyle.

THE 7 STEP PROCESS TO BE LIMITLESS

  1. SELF EXAMINATION
  2. DETERMINE GOALS
  3. SETTING OUT A PLAN
  4. COMMUNICATION
  5. CHALLENGE EVERYTHING
  6. DETERMINE PITFALLS
  7. REALITY CHECK

JUST THE 1ST STEP;

SELF EXAMINATION is a challenging process to complete.  In essence the process requires that each person question everything about their lives.  The focus should be on the things that are causing the most unhappiness. 

The entire process requires being totally honest with yourself.  You have to ask yourself what actually makes you happy.  Making a list helps but is not a requirement.  There has been a series of choices that have brought you to this point in your life.  Challenging your principles, morals, ethics, ideas and relationships, requires that you ask yourself hard questions.  The intent is to find answers and initiate change.   

Aspects of this process can be restricted by what your family or friends think.  Attempt to explain to your friends and family what you are trying to do.  Remember, this stage is strictly your thoughts without any input from others.  As stated before, those close to you will not only understand but help keep you on track should you lose your way.

DETERMINING GOALS will be based on what makes you happy.  Again, a list is a handy tool but not a requirement.  There is no limit to the number of goals you create.  Remember to think big and in the long term of your life.  Your goals can be determined simply by listing the things that make you unhappy and want to change.  Taking the reverse approach will identify aspects of your life you want to change.  If completed, these aspects will  give you a starting point toward finding happiness.  The other approach is to think about things that make you smile to yourself or give you a feeling of satisfaction.  Once the goal is established, you can complete sub-goals that will move you toward your overall goal. 

SETTING OUT A PLAN.  Let us look at the goal of climbing Mount Everest which will represent a major long term goal.    A person who establishes this goal must review or question everything they are doing.   Nothing may change, if they complain about being out of shape but spend the day watching television.   Every action you take causes a reaction.  This is basic physics. 

As an example; Climbing Mount Everest requires a number of actions.  You may need to get in shape, save the money (as it costs between $40,000.00 to $50,000.00) and get the time off work or away from the family.  There can be other aspects to making this goal come true.  However, the above are three examples of what may need to happen to achieve the main goal.  Therefore, the mini-goals might be;

  1. Get in better physical shape,
  2. Save or obtain the funding,
  3. Plan for time off work,
  4. Notify your family of the plan.

If the same person establishes a plan to start walking, running or cycling, there will be a change in their physical condition.  In this example, the process does not expect or recommend climbing a mountain right away.    In most cases, people will have to work toward or ease into their goal.  Whatever steps are taken will result in some degree of change.   

It is important to get out in the world with family and friends to experience life. 

Play, laugh, joke, dream, dance etc. Stop being so serious and have some fun.  

We do not stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.  

Whatever your age, there should be nothing stopping you from discovering yourself and the world around you.  Life should be an experience. 

AM I STUCK OR TRAPPED IN MY LIFE?

The limitless lifestyle is designed to examine your life, make changes and work toward establishing your personal happiness.  This is done by setting goals and working toward the achievement of each of those goals.  Whether these are small or big goals does not matter.  

Consider a person who complains about their relationship with their wife, husband or partner.   They are constantly telling others that they fight all the time, do not go anywhere together and they just do not feel the same way as when they met.  Complaining to others does not solve or change the situation.  There has to be some type of action between two people in a relationship.  Unless you do something different, nothing will change.   This is also the point where your core beliefs come into play.  In this example, consider that the person complaining about their relationship has been raised with the belief that women are weak and cannot be expected to participate in a man’s world. 

There is no thought process in this statement.  It is likely a core value that has been passed on by family or experience.  This creates an excuse for their complaint and will justify why nothing can change.   Without challenging this established value, there is no hope for change. 

When we were children, adults often asked us what we wanted to be or do when we grew up.  We may have responded with; fireman, doctor, dancer or race care driver.  Looking at your life now, you work five to six days a week, clean your house, take care of kids or pets, go shopping and watch television.  In the back of your mind or late at night, you dream of the passion you had as a child. 

Remember that life is about being free to dream and feel the way you desire.  The challenge is for each person to begin the relentless pursuit of their dreams and passions.  The process requires that everyone take a careful look at their core values.  While there may be nothing wrong with your current core values and beliefs, the process requires that you challenge them.  The intent is to ensure they are not just accepted without question

As an adult, you have the ability and right to change or modify any belief you were given as a child. Some you may keep while others you will modify or discard.   To demonstrate the impact of challenging a belief or value, use the example that women are weak and cannot participate in a man’s world.  If after challenging this belief a person still confirms that this is the truth, then nothing will change in their life or relationship(s).   However, if consideration is given to the reality of women can participate and excel in many areas of day to day life, and then the core belief will be modified.  The result is a new opportunity for friendships and relationships.  The person’s life will change with the realization that their core belief was not accurate.